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Monday, July 06, 2009
Joshie Slump: The Innit Apprentice


    I am Joshie Slump, the executive writer and host for this play play prestigious Innit Apprentice. With me are Cwis da duduman and Jessie my honeybi as my assistants. Cwis, the owner of speakingtomato.com who is fascinating with dudu and tomato are rarely in Innit these days due laziness to work commitment. Jessie, a regular Innit chatter and a fun loving girl who can't stop laughing whenever she hears a joke.

From left to right: Cwis, Joshie and Jessie

    Welcome to the Innit Apprentice. With me are 10 bloggers who have a successful fake career created by me for your reading pleasure. They will be divided up into two teams. Each team must select a blogger rep for every task. Each task can only have one winning team.

Jeng jeng jeng~

    The losing team will be facing me in the Blogroom where somebody, will be fired. The bloggers will battle out until there's only one blogger remaining and that blogger, will win the title of The Innit Apprentice. Without further delay, let's take a look at the 10 bloggers' silly impressive resume.

Introducing Tze Lih

    Tze Lih, used to be found gaying around publicly with guy's who already have a GF. Due to constant whacking, beating and bad-mouthing by those girls, he decided to start a beach resort from scratch. His main intention? "Wanna beach here, let me gay with your guy".

    It turns out to be succesful as all those girls who used to hate him starts to be a regular visitor of his beach. The GFs have no problem letting Tze Lih have his way with their guys as long as they can enjoy the beach. Some GF even drag their BF along to the beach even though the BF beg them not to.

Introducing Christine

    Being a nice girl during her school days, Christine often being taken advantage by others. People borrow her stuff and didn't bother returning back. Some ask for her help to finish the homework but there's no thank you or any form of appreciation. Thus, she decided not to play nice anymore. She wanna be ruthless, mean and heartless.

    Joining the Heartless Association, she's one of the latest addition to the board of director. She teaches people how to be more hearltess and mean when they are being taken advantage. Being so mean as the fourth director, you wouldn't wanna imagine how worse the three heartless director above her can be.

Introducing Bernard

    Bernard is a movie junkie and a cinema regular. However, he simply hate the snacks and drinks provided by the cinema. Thus, he started his business venture in his own BCGTL line, Blue Crimson-red Green Tea Latte. BCGTL has won "the most drink drinks by cinema drinkers" award for 5 consecutive years.

    BCGTL is unique in its way that cinema patrons can choose to mix and match any B C G colouring into the drinks. However, patrons spend more time in the toilet due to diarrhea because of the colouring effect. But that does not stop cinema regulars to keep on purchasing BCGTL just because they love it even if it means spending more time in the toilet rather than watching the movie.

Introducing Vox

    Pling Plang! That was the sound effect you heard when people got hit by a pan. To be precise, Vox is one of originator of the Pling Plang Pan game. A group of people will be divided into two teams and the game begins. Players will hit each other with the pan provided. When all members of a team fainted, the other team wins.

    This sport is so famous that she started a Pling Plang Pan Corp. Vox aimed to provide the best training and pan for talented individuals. This activity was so famous that it smashed the world record for largest event involving fainted peoples. Pling Plang is now in the middle of discussion to be included in the next Olympics.

Introducing Jackie

    Jackie Loi was a victim of bully since primary school. His bully would be using plastic bat to hit him from time to time. To prevent any future bullying, Jackie made himself a titanium alloy bat. He took revenge on his bully by sending the bully to the hospital with multiple serious bruises.

    Inspired by that event, Jackie later started a Titanium Ah Loi corporation to help the others who kena bully. Turns out he's a multimillionaire just by selling titanium bat, titanium bangle, titanium chain and all sorts of others titanium items to help others that got bully too. Ah Loi is the idol of every bullying victims and the worst nightmare of the bully.

Introducing Agnes

    Agnes was a fan of cosmetic products. However, she's sick and tired of constantly going to one particular brand just to buy an item and repeating that cycle. Why can't there's just one shop which provides the best of everything? That question soon changes her life.

    Angugu cosmetics line was soon established. It is claimed to be the sole provider for the best of everything when it comes to cosmetics. Found something other than Angugu brand that is better? Bring it to any Angugu outlets and the research team will counter back with a much better product in just 2 weeks!

Introducing Isaac

    Isaac was a lost soul during his younger days. He wonder aimlessly on the street starring at walls and floors. One day, he saw a lizard sticking on the wall. He was admiring it for a long long time, keep on thinking how a cicak life is. A brilliant idea flashes into his mind at that moment.

    He started the cicaknism advisory firm soon after that. Cicaknism theory is now a household name. Mr Isaac already given speech on his Cicaknism theory to 69 different countries. He aim to make the world a better place by spreading on his theory from one country to another and later on reuniting the whole world to believe in cicaknism.

Introducing EV

    Fascinating with dolls since young, EV would play with her dolls from day to night, night to day. Skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner are a normal routine. One day, her parents threw all her doll away. However, she used up all her piggy bank saving to buy materials to make her own doll.

    Right now, she's the CEO for the Doll Empire. EV already established Doll Empire chain stores in every continent. Customers can personalise the dolls too. Design one that looks like your rival, and dress her up in trashy style. Make one that looks like Britney, and make her pregnant all over again. Its up to your own creativity!

Introducing Nigel

    Nigel was always thinking of how good it is if human can fly. There was once he jump off the 3rd floor balcony to see if he can elevate but sadly he ended up in the hospital for 6 months. During his warding time, he was thinking how to make everybody's dream to fly to come true.

    Enter the Flyguy Airlines. Flyguy Airlines provides journey to any places at anytime. No transport for a 15 minutes drive to your friend's party? Going to a 7-11 two blocks away at 4am in the morning? No worries. Flyguy is there to help. Just make sure there's a field nearby for the plane to land and the neighbourhood can tolerate high decibel of noises.

Introducing Diese

    Diese was flipping through a magazine when something catches her attention. She saw the classified page hiring maids, charity auction, selling houses and cars. As she read on, she suddenly have this urge of making big money but she want to be stand out from the rest.

    Then it comes the Kakak and Nenek concept. Diese's company mainly aims to provide kakak or nenek to those who are interested. Whether to clean up the house, to have a cute lil sis, a lovely granny or simply a spoiled sis to argue with, Diese is the one you should be looking for right now.

The candidates

    10 bloggers, two teams and only one winner. Who will be the first ever The Innit Apprentice?


Posted at 08:48 pm by Josh524

July 8, 2009   02:36 PM PDT
Jess - Haha, wanted to do so but run out of idea le honz. XP

iriene - Haha, its just a funny entry only. No plans to make it big yet. ^_^

DiEsE - I would if I could. XP

vox - Should advertise on thestar.com.my also mar. ^_^

yingzi - good looking in a funny way? XP

jac - Don't die! Else I can't do this anymore since its a killer reading material. XP

Chris Thoo - Hehe, surprise le

WayeYoung - XD Epicness!

EV@yenniedoll - Nolar, this 1 damn long d wan... Do bit by bit as days goes by.

kenwooi - Haha, still cracking my head thinking of whether to do the next episode.

Audrey - U wait ar, next time its going to be u. ^_^

jackie - Okay, noted. Coming soon ok? ^_^

Isaac - It already dominated 69 countries! XP

mschorlor - haha, thanks! ^_^

PinkPorkChop - Hehe, just to make everyone laugh only

Spectre - If I put u in it too lagi chaotic right? XP
July 7, 2009   08:56 PM PDT
Darn this gotta be the wacky team of businessman/women SURE KO n pokai in the end !
July 7, 2009   08:51 PM PDT
Diese's photo match the most ;p
July 7, 2009   03:20 PM PDT
SO FREeeeeeeeeeeee... :P
but nice effort
July 7, 2009   10:18 AM PDT

July 7, 2009   07:11 AM PDT
LOL bully -_-...oi josh use also use my mot handsome pic ma...!! XD
July 7, 2009   05:56 AM PDT
Lol. Wtf. Diese's picture is so funny!!!
July 7, 2009   02:24 AM PDT
July 6, 2009   10:35 PM PDT
haha i almost died laughing this entry!
July 6, 2009   10:21 PM PDT
Hoho! This is super funny! And all of you look good man!
July 6, 2009   10:14 PM PDT
LOL!! I thought of like what turf when i saw that you took the ugliest picture of me buthenagain, it is so funny and wuliau that i laughed like hell.

*erhem serious sound*
My corp needs young fresh spm graduates who used to be great sportspeople(has strong hands)to sign themselves up to assure themselves a place in this world of PLING PLANG PAN.
To those weaklings, you could sign up too but with get PLING PLANG from me everyday!

July 6, 2009   09:16 PM PDT
Very interesting concept.
So, what is their first task?
I am following.. can't wait for the pilot episode... btw.. do u need a "mole" or extra actors/actress... I don't mind joining u... how about "wild card" ...:D
Do drop by my blog when u r online..tks!

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